La Vie de hLee: Life at its Prime

This is why, this is why I Squat

Get it? get it? That’s a play on words from “This is why I’m Hot”. Get it now? kk good. 

Soooo as you all should know (or at least assume if I haven’t directly told you or you haven’t seen the gem of a photo I posted on FB in preparation for St. Patty’s day) I am going to DUBLIN for the weekend to celebrate the 2nd best holiday of the year (got ur back Halloween) in style. I am obviously SO stoked to go back to Ireland on much better circumstances than last time….fuck you thompson. BUT the point of this is to express the fear that is slowly arising in me. The fear isn’t because I’m scared for my overall well-being and safety on such a shitfaced occasion, it is something much worse. 

The fear is of PUBLIC BATHROOMS. Or more precisely, lack thereof. This has been a recurring issue when I am out and about in London or wherever that is away from home. Like existing in rez using public bathrooms isn’t shitty enough (no pun intended), using fucking grimy public bathrooms in Europe - and let me emphasize the grime factor - is cringe worthy. I don’t know why they are so gross but I literally feel like vomming every time I enter one let alone touching anything.

OK so they’re fucking gross. But yet everytime I see one I hear joyous music playing in the back my mind and those dirty, disgusting places become a safe haven, glowing like a golden throne in the distance . The reason for this is simple…I have a tiny bladder and lets just say I haven’t learned the whole ‘patience is a virtue’ thing yet. 

SO when I’m out and about I’m usually A) Drunk or B) Hungover
A) Obviously when I’m drunk my TB syndrome kicks in, in full effect and peeing is my number one priority at most moments
B) When I’m hungover I’m consuming litres of coffee and water..and well you get the point

Now I’ll be in Dublin, drinking green BEER at that (worst worst worst for this certain issue). I can see it now, me out having fun with my friends, drinking, laughing, being in Ireland you know the whole 9 yards… and then its gunna happen. I’m gunna be in a huge crowd  with no public bathrooms in site and an overflowing bladder. Nothing else will be fun anymore. It will all be over. And then I’ll find one or someone will find one for me kuz I’ll be bitching and complaining about it they just wanna shut me up. Ok fewf can go have fun again let me just run in quickly. PSYCH!!!!! There’s a fucking 25 person lineup. Also for a lot of the public bathrooms that are literally just public bathrooms like in a train station or something, you have to PAY to get in them!!!! PAY!!!! To use their dirty toilet. 30 pence for that shit! It’s highway robbery at its finest. 

Man,  me and public washrooms have a weird relationship. I could literally rant about all the different intricate aspects of them and why they suck forever but I won’t do that kuz its weird. Anyways, due to all of these factors with a combination of the levels of intoxication I will be experiencing I think natures toilet is going to be my number one option this weekend. The fact that this is something I’m even thinking of before it actually happens is kind of concerning…. and the fact that I’m sharing it on here is even weirder. DONTCARE k going to Ireland now baaaiii

Playtime in Paris

We arrived in Paris at our swanky hostel (even though there was 10 of us in a room and we expected it to be grimy in typical Bader fashion) which actually turned out to be really nice and I’d prefer that bunk bed over my stupid cardboard bed at the castle any day.  The only shitty thing was that it wasn’t really near the city centre so going anywhere was kind of a bitch. Anyways we got there at like 10pm and were all pretty exhausted (traveling on a coach bus beside Jesse who has a bizarre habit of not sleeping on busses but instead getting wired and reverting back to a hyper 5 year old child on a sugar high has its ups and downs when we all know what a sleepy hangover queen I am). We just drank at the hostel and then Jesse & I walked down to this weird kebab place where we ate too much, felt sick, and regretted our life decisions like every other time we think it’s a good idea to eat an abundance of food at midnight.

The next day we  got up bright and early and went to the Louvre. I saw the Mona Lisa and some other fucking hilarious paintings (honestly - snake biting calm woman’s nipple, naked fat babies making out with each other, armless dying wrinkly naked Grandma submerging into the swampy alligator water – these artists must have been A) stoned as fack or B) laughing in their graves that people actually take their artistic jokes so seriously) Pure entertainment, I want to be friends with these guys. Anyways the Louvre was cool I can say I did it and next time I’ll just pass by and remember that time I went inside haha.

After the Louvre, we went to Eiffel tower, a couple of my friends walked up the stairs to the second floor – I opted out kuz I didn’t feel like waiting in line and I had to pee plus I figure when Linds comes we will do it anyways so didn’t miss much. My smart move: gave my friends my camera so they took pix from up there and I can just pretend I did it with them muaha. Some of them actually turned out really sick. After we left the Eiffel tower we took the subway (which we are masters of now obviously) to Notre Dame. The side streets around there have a bunch of cool lil restaurants and stuff so we went into one of them and I had a HUGE pot of mussels (yummm). After that we went to this Indian hookah bar chilled for a bit drinking & smoking hookah like royalty ooooyaaa. Then we went back to Notre Dame and decided we should go inside. It JUST SO HAPPENED to be Ash Wednesday so we were there for the Ash Wednesday service at Notre Dame. Not that I’m very religious or anything (ha) but I think that’s a pretty frikkin cool thing to say you’ve done. After we went back to the hostel we went out to 2 different bars in town, got super drunk and met up with some of my castle friends other friends who are on exchange in Paris. One of the bars we were at had this like plank of 20 shots for 20 euros…..Enough said 

The next day I went shopping on the Champs D’Eylsees by myself like a big girl while my friends had field studies. Got my eyebrows waxed in the MASSIVE sephora and the French girl doing it was trying to chirp me kuz my eyebrows were so heinous before but she like couldn’t figure out how to in English haha it was fucking priceless I was like I know. Help me. Now I have nice eyebrows (kuz you all care). Went for sushi with Michelle after. I GOT A NEW JACKET and threw my stupid blue buttonless jacket in the trashcan on the street right away. How liberating. Later that night we went on a boat cruise tour of the River Seine which was soo nice and I got to see the Eiffel tower sparkle for the first time ever! It really is beautiful and I just kept thinking how lucky I am and to try to remember each moment  as it is exactly in that split second as time flies so much…and that has never been more apparent to me than it is now. We drank at the hostel and went down to the club in the basement of the hostel with everyone from school (sounds less sketchy then it was). The next day I wnet to the Shoah Memorial for a field study of my history class about the Holocaust, which was really cool but again our guide sucked. Fucking tour guides go get another job if your gunna suck so much. I understand your job is repetitive and boring but every person who is on your tour is likely there for the first and last time ever so BE CONSIDERATE AND NOT A BORING FRENCH GEEZER when it is such an interesting topic!! We spent the day after that in a French café in a really cute area and I could smoke inside on the patio (BOOYA). After that we met up with the coach and took an annoying 5 hour bus ride back to Bader.

Paris is cool, but in all honesty after I go back in May I doubt I’ll pay money to go back again. This is my second time being there, May will be my third. It is defineitely somewhere that you need to go, sites you need to see, and things you must do in life. But after you’ve done all those things I think $$$ would be spent more worthwhile somewhere else. I have no hate for Paris and don’t get me wrong I had an amazing time there are just so many other things to do and places to go in Europe! Anyways, that’s my shpeal. Au Revoir Paris! Until we meet againXOXO

Belligerence in Belgium

Brussels, Brussels, Brussels. I must say that before actually arriving in Belgium, I did not have high hopes. Many of my friends who have traveled Europe have told me not to waste my time in Belgium, it’s nothing special, and wouldn’t be worth my time. Since it was part of my mandatory midterm trip for school, it was included in the fees I paid at the beginning and didn’t have a choice. I figured we were only there for one night so it didn’t really matter. After my experience, contrary to the beliefs of all my poorly opinionated friends: it was AMAZING! We spent the day in Bruges when we initially got there, which is like this small, beautiful little town that used to be an old port. There are canals everywhere and the 3 main forms of travel that I saw were horse and carriage, boats, or bikes. We did a walking tour with a nightmare of a tour guide who must have been pushing 85 and well, if you can imagine the pace of an 85-year-old French man who struggles to find every second word to generate complete English sentences you can imagine how hellish it was. Only after like 2 hours of his dreadful voice and walking around in the freezing cold did we realize the stupid walking tour wasn’t even mandatory so 2 friends & I dipped out and went to this delicious lil restaurant where we sat by a fireplace to warm up and eat.

After we left Bruges we got back on the coaches and headed for Brussels where we arrived around 5. Naturally, we quickly got ready then started drinking redbull and vodka right away. A group of about 10 of us then headed out to find somewhere to eat dinner. Obviously, eating was not something on our itinerary for the night after chugging vodka redbull so instead of ordering food for dinner, Jesse, Michelle & I split a bottle of wine for dinner instead (winning). After dinner we went to this bar called Delirium which is this super well known bar that offers one of the most selections of beer in the whole world: 2400 different kinds of beer. So if we weren’t all drunk enough by this point, drinking pint after pint of 10-15% cherry, pear, light, dark, cider, apple, YOU NAME IT different types of beer its safe to say we were ALL beyond shitfaced. It was actually hilarious it was like every single person from Bader was a savage animal that had just been let out of our cages. It was literally blackout central (super safe in a city where none of us have ever been and half the people are 18 … lawl). My friend Jeff had spent the weekend in Switzerland so he only got their late, arriving in Brussels around midnight (sober). He tried to contact all of us to see where we were and where he could meet us and literally got a jumble of non sensible letters as responses from all of us. When he finally just set out on his own to find us he found us all at different places, literally just picked up all the pieces of our dignity and sobriety and had a good laugh at the state we were all in. We ended up at this more dancey type place where we continued drinking (unnecessary) and smoking INSIDE (I love Europe) and being silly. The next day we woke up at 8 which was fucking brutal as we had a field study for my Politics class to the EU parliament in Brussels. It was really cool being there but once again we had an awful guide guy and I spent the majority of the hour he was talking shuffling around trying to keep my hungover useless self awake. Actually going into the room where all the debates between members take place was really cool, and actually every aspect of it where he wasn’t talking was well worth being there. As a politics student I guess its something that I feel pretty lucky to have been able to see. If only we all weren’t so hungover with the mental capacity of 4 year olds the guide wouldn’t have been such a hater to us. Being hungover doing touristy shit = the epitome of traveling. If I am not the master of hangovers by the end of this trip then I will declare it unsuccessful. Later that day we went for lunch and ate chocolate and Belgian waffles which were delish (obvs) and then met the coaches to take us to Paris.

All in all, Brussels was super dope. I would of definitely liked to stay longer and truthfully if I get the opportunity I would for sure go back. So SUCK IT all my silly friends who said Belgium wasn’t fun kuz I had a time and was only there for one night (maybe that in itself is why I enjoyed it more than others) Maybe one night was all I needed after all to leave such a positive impression of Brussels in my mind. Paris coming next!